After watching Michelle Obama’s documentary Becoming, I knew I had to go and read the original book itself. Although I had always admired and respected Michelle from afar in her role as former First Lady, by reading about her life in depth, she has truly become one of my favourite role models. Michelle embodies all of the qualities I look up to the most: compassion, integrity, perseverance, confidence, and commitment. Her story is incredibly inspiring, providing fascinating insight into the major decisions, challenges and events that took place throughout her life. Rather than just a book about her experience as First Lady, it is an honest and intimate coming-of-age story, recounting her childhood growing up poor on the South Side of Chicago; her career as a lawyer which she eventually gave up to pursue her true passion in public health/education; her journey meeting Barack, getting married and struggling to maintain that marriage; and her experiences juggling work and motherhood as her husband’s involvement in politics grew. She talks about becoming her, becoming us, and finally, becoming more. Michelle’s story had me in tears for all the right reasons. I saw myself within several parts of her narrative, and was able to not only learn new things about her, but also take away several life lessons and key pieces of advice that will stay with me as I journey through my own life.
If you are interested in reading this book, I highly recommend the audiobook version! This was my first time trying out an audiobook and I absolutely loved it. The best part was that Michelle herself narrated it, which made her story that much more personal and captivating. I loved experiencing Michelle’s life alongside her with all her triumphs and disappointments.
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it more as a forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to continuously reach toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end. I became a mother, but I still have a lot to learn from and give to my children. I became a wife, but I continue to adapt to and be humbled by what it means to truly love and make a life with another person. I have become, by certain measures, a person of power, and yet there are still moments when I feel insecure or unheard. It’s all a process, steps along a path. Becoming requires patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing up to be done.“
Michelle Obama
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- On career and purpose: Despite growing up constantly questioning “am I good enough”, I was in awe of Michelle Obama’s relentless perseverance as she graduated from two Ivey League schools and landed a job at one of the most prestigious law firms by age 25. Her career journey taught me the important lesson of how “failure is a feeling long before it’s an actual result.” As such, the worst thing we can do to ourselves is plant the seed of failure before we even try to succeed. However, despite reaching the level of success she strived for, it wasn’t long before Michelle realized that being a “successful” lawyer didn’t make her as happy as she thought it would. It didn’t bring her fulfilment or joy. A key lesson she emphasized here is the fundamental problem of caring too much about what others think — doing this essentially puts you on an established path, preventing you from swerving, or even considering a swerve, because what you risk losing in terms of other people’s high regard can feel too costly. It wasn’t until she met Barack whose sense of purpose was so strong and alive that she knew she had to put her fears aside and follow her own heart as well. Ultimately, Michelle discovered her vocation in public service, particularly in the areas of health and education which, unlike her position as a lawyer, gave her clarity for a long-term, evolving purpose. This sense of purpose was rooted in a commitment to her core values. As long as we stay true to our beliefs and values, following our own moral compass, then ultimately the only expectations we have to live up to are our own.
- On marriage and family: The way Michelle nurtures and prioritizes her marriage and family relationships is truly admirable. Despite being the iconic power couple they are, Michelle and Barack’s relationship is of course like any other — two individuals who were raised in different families with vastly different values, which led to frequent miscommunication, misunderstandings, and conflicts. However, even amidst the lapses in communication and difference in expectations, they both learnt to understand each other more by fighting more “efficiently.” A key lesson Michelle emphasized here was the importance of reminding yourself and your partner the mutual vision both of you have for the future, which ultimately helps ease any tension to drive you back on track. In addition to her marriage, Michelle also talks about the way her parents raised her and her brother, Craig, to be strong and independent, and how she carried this style when raising her very own children. She emphasizes the important role parenting plays in honouring our values as a family, and how that will have significant impact on generations to come.
- On health and self-care: Throughout the book, Michelle talks very candidly about her and her family’s struggles with different stressors, and how these played a role in contributing to unhealthy habits. Her concern for this ultimately led her to pay more attention to fundamental factors like nutrition, exercise, and sleep. A turning point for Michelle was when she went to couples counselling with Barack and realized she was looking to her husband to make her happy, rather than being responsible for her own happiness and how she prioritized her own well-being. Because it was important for her daughters to also grow up with a mother who valued herself, Michelle ultimately learned that becoming her best self meant taking care of herself rather than relying on her partner — she learned to prioritize her life differently by making time for her workouts, getting her rest, and asking for help when she had too much on her plate. She also emphasized the importance of using other self-care strategies to retain a healthy sense of self, such as journaling, coaching, and staying socially connected.
Bindra's Book Blog 